A Visit with Grandma

The kids and I drove down to Mission to get out of Kent’s hair while he’s working at setting up in the new school. We stayed three full days with my mom and did some visiting around the area. While we’ve been here the kids have had a blast spending time with their Grandma. Grandma had craft projects planned for them to work on, helped them make their treasures, bought new materials with which to create their works of art.

The dough dolls - They mixed up dough (much like play dough) and rolled it out flat. Then cut body parts and baked them in the oven. When they were cooked, we painted them and attached them together with buttons and cord. Then they glued on eyes and clothes (if desired), and voïla, a doll they can actually play with! Kai (of course) made a dragon doll. Madison made a ballerina princess doll.

Painting - I have to remember never to underestimate the fun of simple brush to paper painting. Caylie loves painting, and Grandma had bought her a real canvas to use. She created a masterpiece that will be hung in our house on display.

Berry Picking - Grandma knew a local farm where we could pick our own blueberries. We arrived armed with buckets and Tupperware containers to pick the juicy, ripe berries. The kids had never picked fruit before, and they thought this was extremely fun. Between us we picked 16.5 lbs of blueberries in one hour. The kids smuggled a few more pounds out in their bellies. That night I made blueberry crisp for dessert, and the kids have been eating tons of berries ever since because they are the ones they picked themselves.

Gifts-Grandma presented Kai with his birthday gifts before we left, even though his birthday isn’t for over a week. Among other things, she had made him a dragon puppet out of fabric. Somewhere she found a pattern for the puppet and sewed it, stuffed it, painted it with glittery scales, added sequins and jewelled buttons. It was very well received by our dragon fanatic, he has been carrying it around all day and is even sleeping with it tonight.

We’ve all be thoroughly spoiled and fêted by all our family members on this visit. My dad and his wife made us a lovely meal and gave the kids gifts, and my brother-in-law and his wife threw a super fun party for their daughter’s second birthday. Kai has been showered with gifts by his other grandparents as well, and is doing quite well in that department despite the fact that his birthday hasn’t yet arrived.

It was a lovely visit. I am so lucky to have such a caring, considerate mother who takes such joy in spending time with us. Thanks, Mom. I love you

“My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.” ~Graycie Harmon

Motivation

There are many things in life we have to do. Sometimes I don’t want to do the things I should do. I don’t want to get up early in the morning. I don’t want to clean my house. I don’t want to work out. I don’t want to do errands. What don’t you want to do? Go to work? Start that big project you’ve been putting off? But I’m an adult so I have to make myself do it anyway. I have several little mind-tricks I use to force myself into doing what I should.

Music - it’s hard not to get at it and be enthusiastic when you’re rockin’ some groovy tunes. My play list includes my favourites from the golden oldies (Yakkity Yak) to the middle oldies (Bust a Move), to the newer oldies (Mambo no. 5), to the less-offensive new artists (Shakira and Kaanan). I pick fun stuff that’s going to get me shaking my booty while I do my tasks.

Bargaining - I fool myself into starting something with the promise of stopping early if I need to. Usually it’s just starting that I’m balking at. I tell myself I’ll only work out for 10 minutes, and then I can stop if I really need to. Then, once I’ve got my gear on, warmed up and started in I can usually stick it out until I’ve finished the whole work out. If I tell myself I’ll only scrub one of the toilets, then once I’ve got the cleaning products out and have started the job I might as well do them all.

Rewards - Yes, bribery. If I promise myself a little treat after I’ve completed some goal, or after I’ve stuck to my plan for a determined amount of time, then every time I don’t want to do it I can remind myself I’ll never get my reward if I don’t do the work. Maybe it’s a new lipstick after I’ve done all my other chores for the week. Maybe it’s a churro after I’ve stuck to my diet for a week straight with no other slip ups. Maybe it’s a new bathing suit after I’ve reached my goal weight.

A hard look in the mirror - If it’s my run I’m dragging my heels about, sometimes I take a long look at myself naked. I note the things I like about my physique and remind myself that they didn’t get that way by sitting on my butt. I suppose this would work in other areas of life too. Like if you weren’t motivated to go to work, you could look at your career and remind yourself that you didn’t get where you are today by slacking off.

Gather up the peeps - I join a class or enlist some friends to join me in my goal plans. It’s always easier to keep on track if you can commiserate with someone. Plus, if people are counting on you, you’re more likely to follow through. And if I feel like playing hooky, I’ll have to answer to them as well as my own guilt.

Showing off - There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. I think about how great I’ll look in that dress at a fancy function. I think about how impressed my guests will be with my nice, clean and tidy home. How superior I’ll be allowed to feel after I’ve done all my tasks and chores. I’m not above a little self-satisfaction with a job well done.

There’s no excuse for putting it off. Get it done and then you’ll have the rest of the day to enjoy yourself in your free time. Like the brilliant advertising executives of the power corporation, Nike, say: Just do it!

Glimpse: Envy

I have one set of friends who own a beautiful, expensive house filled with beautiful, expensive furnishings. Another friend of mine has what I would classify as a perfect body, with long, luscious hair. Yet another friend’s husband treats her like a princess and does all the housework. And one has an important career in which she is highly respected and highly paid.

When I compare my own accomplishments or possessions to theirs, I fall short. But I do have plenty to be proud of.

My husband and I own a comfortable home. We have functional, comfortable furniture. I am much happier with my body/appearance than I used to be. I have a warm, loving, wonderful husband who takes good care of me and our children. And while I don’t have a career yet, I do feel that being a full-time mother is an important contribution.

So why do I feel envious of my friends? Even if I had what they have there would always be someone who had more. There are always bigger mansions, more expensive furniture. There are always higher paid jobs and prettier women. Yet there’s still the nagging longing for my “dream” life. My dream house would have vaulted ceilings and wood and tile floors. My dream job would pay enough that I could buy myself new shoes anytime I wanted them. My dream hair would always be shiny and full of body. My dream husband would not make fun of how much of a geek I am for knowing every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation by heart.

If one is too comfortable and complacent, they stagnate and forget their goals. If one is too jealous of everyone around them they spend their life being resentful and dissatisfied. So how to find a balance between healthy ambition and contentment? How do I let go of my discontent while not giving up on my dreams?

This is an impasse that I grapple with every day. Is it ambition - or greed? Is it happiness - or laziness? I am thankful for what I have, and I’m not shameful of any of it. I know I am so lucky to be comfortable and well kept. I think the handle I’m grasping for is that I long to put my stamp on life. The “dream” is really just a desire to surround yourself with your own choices. The house that fits your personality perfectly, furnished with your unique style and taste, is really an extension of yourself. “I did this. This is me.” And now I see that I’m not really envious of people around me. I do admire them for what they have chosen to do and be, or for their valuable qualities. But I can be happy and content to live my lovely life while making small improvements along the way. Every time I make a choice that suits me and my family, it brings me a little bit closer to the dream.

Rant: Dogs

While out running today yet another dog challenged me. Every time I’m outside, it seems, somebody’s dog has to plant himself in my way and dare me to pass him. Where do they get such a chip on their shoulders?

I have never been much of a “dog person”, I prefer cats as pets. But half the population of Canada has a canine companion, and they all like to take them for a walk along my running route at the same time. Some of these animals are apparently trustworthy enough to go for a walk without a leash, and they run after me, sometimes jumping up on me, sometimes barking at me as if I’m a criminal getting away. The owner in this situation generally calls feebly at their dog to “come here”; a command which the dog always ignores. The owner then gives me an isn’t-he-precious look and ambles over to bodily move their snarling animal off me. Sometimes the owner will smirk and say "He just wants to play". Well, I do not play that. The less “trustworthy” dogs are led about by their necks with a leash. This leaves them free to wander all over the path getting their line tangled in people’s legs and around bushes while still being within yanking control of the owner. This makes it impossible for me to easily sidestep around the animal because the owner and dog are always on opposite sides of the path with the leash strung between them. Then there are the owners who throw their bodies over the dog the minute they see someone coming because the animal has a history of attacking innocent passers-by.

And let’s not even get started on the piles of poo left like land mines for runners to step in and then track with them for the next four miles.

If you are going to adopt a pet into your family, you should be responsible for training and controlling that pet. Maybe keep it from jumping on non-family members and barking its head off for no reason. Maybe you think it’s the cutest thing ever, but I fail to see how adorable it is while I‘m being mauled. And if your dog is so vicious you have to muzzle it or give it treats to prevent it from assaulting people, maybe you should take it for walks in less populated areas than the city running trail.

I know a dog can be a loveable family pet, a playmate for children, a companion to lonely people. But still, it’s a dog, not a person. Dogs should be taught to obey commands, to keep their slobber and filthy paws to themselves, and not to bark endlessly if there is no reason to bark. Dogs should eat dog food from a dog dish - not at the table - and not have more than one change of outfit.

If my children are being noisy or disruptive in public, I get the stink-eye from nearby folks who think I should be raising and managing them better. And they hardly ever jump on people in the park without warning. I try to keep them under control as best I can so they don’t bother people or get in anyone’s way. And I can say in all confidence that they are way cuter than any dog.

Kai's first visit from the toothfairy

Kai has had his first loose tooth. After reading the book about the tooth fairy, and seeing Madison’s experiences with losing teeth, Kai was eager to have his first tooth come out. When it got wiggly, he worked it and worked it day and night in hopes that it would fall out. He’s been showing us the tooth and making us feel it’s degree of wigglyness for weeks.

Finally, Kent decided it was time to pull it out. Kai was all for it! Unlike his squeamish sister, he was so excited to have his tooth pulled. When it was out, he proudly brandished it for everyone to admire. The toothfairy book with the little tin box is already packed, so I got him an envelope and we carefully sealed it in for safekeeping. He was definitely not reluctant to go to bed that night! He put the envelope under his pillow first thing. When I asked him what he was going to do with the money that the toothfairy brings, he answered swiftly, “Buy stuff!”

This morning he woke up early to see if the toothfairy had been here. The envelope was still under his pillow, and still sealed, but when he tore it open it contained a shiny toonie. Very impressive fairy magic there! Kai was impatient to go to the dollar store today and spend his riches. He chose a toy and has been happily been playing with it ever since.

Now Kai can’t wait for his next loose tooth. He’s been so proud of the hole in his smile!

Glimpse: Small things with great love

I believe that when you share something with someone, it produces love. I believe that loving and being loved is our entire reason for living. Loving our families. Loving our friends. Loving our world. Without it, life would be meaningless.

“There are no great things, only small things with great love. Happy are those.” - Mother Teresa

Sharing isn’t hard to do. It can be anything. A sandwich. An anecdote. A smile. Even these small things beget love. One of my favourite things is to share a story with my children. I read aloud to them a beloved story from my childhood or a new one we discover together, and they enjoy listening. We spend some time snuggling together and sharing the excitement of some fictional world, and it makes me love my children more. And it makes me love the story more.

I admire Mother Teresa. She devoted her life to creating as much love as possible. I am trying to remember to be loving in my every day life, though sometimes it’s hard when life gets busy. But like every good habit, if you remind yourself enough it will become part of your nature. The small things count, and they add up to great things.

Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbour... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. -Mother Teresa

That one line has stuck with me over the years. “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier”. That is essentially what I strive for. Not just to do no harm in the world, but also to do no apathy. To be a positive force for good things every day. Even if it’s just a friendly word or a smile.

Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. - Mother Teresa

Glimpse: I love food.

I’ve noticed that many of my posts involve, or completely revolve around, food. Well, there is a simple explanation for that: food is very important to me.

I love food. Far beyond the simple necessities for sustaining life, food nourishes our bodies and souls. We share meals with our loved ones and increase intimacy with newer acquaintances by “breaking bread” together. Food comforts us when we are ill or sad, nurtures our loved ones when we want to ease their pain, and brings certain pleasure to our happy occasions.

This is why I believe a balanced diet is healthiest for us. Nutritious food is important for our bodies to use for fuel. So we need to make the best possible choices not to waste calories eating anything devoid of nutrition. Each meal needs to incorporate the many vitamins and minerals our bodies need to keep in supply. However, food is not just about fuel. The balance also must include nourishing our selves.

Food has a unique way of combining tastes and textures to ignite a sensory emotion within us as we enjoy it. Eating something we know and love evokes a different experience than testing something new and exciting. Different foods compliment our different moods, or sometimes can even cause them. Eating is one of life’s pure pleasures, and every meal should be sustenance to our spirit.

The most wonderful thing about food is sharing it with others. Our families and friends gathered around the table together, eating our favourite dishes and enjoying laughter and love is what it’s all about. Passing family recipes down from one generation to the next is a time honoured tradition around the world. The pride we hold that our grandmother’s old fashioned icelandic vinarterta recipe is “the best in the world” is second to none. These special social connections are made, maintained, and strengthened by sharing food.

In my volunteer position at the local women’s shelter I plan and cook meals for the ladies living in the facility with the help of some of these same. I try to choose meals that are enjoyable as well as healthy, and they are met with often mixed reviews. No matter what the dish, though, getting to know each other while preparing food that they all will enjoy together is an amazing experience every time. Keeping in mind that I often meet women there on the worst day of their lives while they are coping with crisis, I never know what to expect when making the evening meal. I have heard sad stories, had hilarious conversations, met children and grandmothers, shared recipes and learned new things. It is always an enlightening experience, and food is always at the heart of it.