Image via Wikipedia A friend was asking for ideas for saving money during the holidays (and the rest of the year too). Her family is feeling the crunch of moving, spending, and overspending with Christmas just around the corner. I had a few ideas, and as I was pouring them out and hogging the message board, I realized I felt strongly about the subject.
I really think that Christmas is for spending quality time with family and friends. For enjoying each other’s company and reaffirming our affection for one another. For laughing at inside jokes and welcoming newcomers into our circle. For enjoying the children and grandchildren as they learn about the magic of the season. For sharing food and stories and warmth on a cold evening.
Yet somehow a few Christmases ago I found myself full of anxiety and tension over lists. Lists I wrote down of everyone to whom I needed to send a card. Lists of everyone for whom I needed to buy a gift. And lists in my head of how much money each gift should cost, what I gave them last year, what they gave me, how much money they probably spent, etc etc etc. I shopped and shopped for the gifts so I could cross the people off the list. Each thing had to be just the right price, just the right taste for the recipient, just the right size and colour. As Christmas grew closer my anxiety grew as well. Would everyone like their gift? What if someone else bought them the same thing? What if they spent more on my gift than I spent on theirs? What if I’ve forgotten someone I should have bought a gift for? What if someone gives me a gift when I wasn’t expecting them to? So I bought extra “gifty” things just in case I needed an emergency gift. Needless to say, this all added up to quite a bit of spending every year. And quite a bit of anxious worrying. And my focus was not where it should be: on my loved ones and what I love about them.
Truthfully, we don’t need a lot of that stuff. It’s just something pretty in a box for the sake of having a box to open. Obligation dilutes the spirit of what the holidays are all about. So here are my ideas for cutting back on spending while focusing more on the important things.
Reduce - My husband and I have agreed not to give each other gifts. Instead we might buy something for the house or the family. We have asked that extended family also abstain from gift-giving with us; our gift to them is that they don’t have to buy us a gift. And I used to worry about the proper gift for service providers like my mail carrier, garbage collector, and hairdresser; I have since reduced those gifts to a simple note, or a smile and word of thanks.
Simplify - Of course we still buy and give gifts to our children on Christmas. But they don’t need piles and piles of toys. One (hopefully well chosen) toy, one activity, and one book or useful item is plenty for a child to receive. They can really appreciate their new treasures if they are fewer but more meaningful.
Homemade - For teachers, instructors, and other peripheral recipients we have often made gifts ourselves. Baking, treats the children helped with, crafts, decorations the kids made, etc. It really is the thought that counts in this case, because our budget would really not allow for a very special store-bought gift. The important thing is that with the making of each gift we really think about the recipient and what makes that person special.
Donate - Our society is one of excess and there are many in the world who live without the basic essentials. One idea is to give a yearly donation to a cause like World Vision. Help the kids choose a goat or pig, and then give cards to the people on your gift list describing the merits of “their” gift to people in need.
Ask for what you need - For the people who will still insist on buying gifts for us, sometimes we make suggestions of things we really need. Our parents like to outfit the kids with most of the new clothes they ever need in a year and that takes a lot of the burden off of us. Sometimes they pay for the kids’ activities or equipment. Christmas stockings can be filled with practical items like toiletries and underwear.
The holidays will still hold some pressures and worries. But hopefully some of the tension will be eased for our friends and family who no longer have to worry about buying us a gift. I hope they put that money towards something nice for themselves, or towards something really needed. And hopefully now we can spend more of our attention and energy on enjoying our family time together this Christmas.
Oh, and just because we have reduced our gift-giving and spending at Christmas time, doesn’t mean we never give gifts to our people. During the year if I see something that I know somebody I love would enjoy, I might buy it for them as a surprise. Often I make personalized projects for my folks as well - the time and effort involved are well worth the reward of presenting my finished work to them. And because “just because” gifts are not tied to a deadline, I have the leisure to work at it and finish it whenever life allows.
The spirit of giving at the holidays is a wonderful tradition. The gift of one’s time and attention is really a beautiful offering, no matter how much or little it costs.
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