Comfort Foods

Panic. Stress. Anxiety. Fear of defeat. Desperation. This week has been full of things chipping away at my composure, not the least of which is the non-sale of our house. All of this culminated in a few hours of panic today. I have tried to remain positive and hopeful. I have tried to take my mother’s advice and release only positive imagery into the universe and visualizing my preferred outcome. But today, the negativity got the better of me and I cracked at the seams.

Fortunately, at times like this I have a loving husband to lend an ear and shoulder. After listening to my panicked ramblings, he was able to soothe me. However, both of us were out of sorts today and felt restless and unsettled. And we turned to comfort foods.

I have long had a relationship with comfort foods. In my heavier days I indulged in my favourites all too often for the pleasure of it. Now that I’ve chosen to change my eating habits, I have renounced most of the treats I used to keep on hand. Here were some of my favourites:

- Stoned Wheat Thins: They are simply delicious. And they fit the cheese slice perfectly. But the half-salt kind just aren’t the same… if they had extra salt ones that would be a hit.

- Chocolate: Mmmmm. I love to cram a big mouthful in… it’s heavenly.

- Drink: Gin and tonic, beer, Kahlua, etc. Especially on a hot day.

- Licorice: Black.

- Cookies: Oreos, home-made butterscotch chip, fudgeos

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…And many more. Anyway, I haven’t completely forbidden myself treats, but I have allowed them rarely enough that they are really special joys. Usually it’s a positive experience to indulge in one of my favourite delicacies, since it’s in celebration of a special occasion or a well deserved reward. So today I dived in. I ate cookies, chocolate, ice cream, candy. Small amounts of each, but still. Now I feel more miserable. Not only am I still stressed about everything, but now I have slipped up in my goals. The comfort foods don’t comfort, they just pile on the guilt.

My Lesson For Today: The pleasurable things in life should remain pleasurable. If I feel worse about myself for having indulged in them, it’s not worth it.